This year is going to an end very soon.

The best things in this year are:

1) Completed all the subjects that need to sit for exam.(left co-op)

2) Better relationships with family and friends.

3) Made new friends.

4) Lastly, I have fallen in love which is also the worst thing of this year.

I thought YOU were different. Maybe afterall I'm just an accompany to you. No one to blame but myself for being stupid. I should have known better.

I hope for better year ahead.

I'm really looking forward going to Hong Kong next year. Hope I'll never be back and just stay there.

If I ask you do I mean anything to you...what will you answer me?

Best Christmas ever!!!

I need more of this hahaha

All we did is just for fun and nothing meant:)

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还想你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

My tears just keep flowing out when this song keep on repeating.

Fed Up!

It don't mean a thing....Meaninglesss....

Working is the only way to stop me keep thinking of it.

I'm just so fed up of everything.

I don't want to talk of you anymore.

I hate myself for being so helpless when it comes to you.

I just hate it.

You will never know how I feel all this while.

I don't want to think anymore.

Goodbye to you.

Today went for Ninja Assasins movie.

Something is very wrong with me.

The problem is I'm falling for you again.

Kill me please.

Waiting is what I have been doing all these while...

I've been at here for so long and I couldn't find my direction...

Can't bear to let go and yet I have no other alternatives...

Am I only just a friend to you or do I mean something to you?

I want my happiness.

My blog is so dull.

Christmas is coming, I wish you could celebrate it with me but I know it's not going to happen.

I wish to have a different year end for 2009.

It will be the same as the past years.

The best thing in this year is I found my heart but yet it's the worse thing ever.

I wish I could erase you from my heart.

There are guys going after me but you are the only one could make me feel this way.

Everything sucks.

愛不愛我已經沒關係

一點小傷而已

都怪我 太不爭氣

我恨我愛你

我可以一個人安靜的忘記你.

Hong Kong '09

I was away for a Hong Kong trip with my family during Hari Raya for 5 days.

It was an awesome trip after all.

The shopping part I mean..hahhaa

I was back in KL on Wednesday night.

It was really damn tiring.

I've been walking since the moment I arrived in Hong Kong.

I walked till even my toe got swollen. -_-"

I'm lazy to tell out how my trip went.

Guess I should just post up some photos here :D

At KLIA

Some of the things I bought XD

My babies~~~~

There are more photos at my Facebook.

Just go over there to see if you want to:)

Giant Lollipop!

Can I have it? haha

~~~

I've been rotting at home for few weeks:S

I am anxiously waiting for my Hong Kong trip!

Can't wait for it.

I mean shopping!

Shop til I drop:D

Gosh I just love shopping.

Every girls love it. Haha

~~~

I am currently missing someone.

A big sigh.

How I wish he would know.

After all this while, I am still waiting for him.

But I don't know if he knows it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for something that doesn't exist.

Do you know how badly I wanna see you?

I guess you don't.

~~~

FA3

I'm guilty:S

Off to sleep now.

Goodnight:)

Exam is on this coming Thursday:(

I haven't even start revising yet

Not even a chapter.

I'm doomed.

Have to force myself to study!!!

Can I say that I have care less about you these days?

Maybe I am:)

I'm waiting silently for you here in my place.

But that doesn't means I'm gonna wait forever.

But I still bless you to be happy with her will all my heart.

I guess that's what it will do to you when you truly care and love someone.

You will just want him to be happy and be there for him even if he don't realise it.

You will feel happy just to see him and talk to him even if he is not yours.

You still think of him when you know you shouldn't.

You will not care even it's just friendship between the both of you.

Because all that matters is just you.

To Lee Yee Yeng,

You must be strong and face it!

Cry all you want but you must get back up on your feet!

Before It's Too Late

Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's Too Late

I wander through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies and
I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

Hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱

酸酸的空氣

整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著

我懂我也知道

捨不得

說不上為什麼

我想大聲宣佈

對妳依依不捨

也許時間是一種解藥

也是我現在正服下的毒藥

我在幸福的門外 　卻一直都進不來

愛能不能夠永遠單純沒有悲哀

愛可不可以簡簡單單沒有傷害

Today had Management Accounting 2 final exam...

1 more subject to go:)

Then I'll be free from exams.

No more exams...and goodbye UCSI....

It has been a week that I have no appetite to eat...

Will it just fade away like this?

I know it's true when it stays strong in me.

But it should just fade away.

Shouldn't stay in my heart.

Just woke up...hmm...woke up with a weird feeling and it feels bad...can't I just get over you? It just seems so hard...I have to let it go...at least for today...I need to put myself back together into one piece and study for tomorrow exam...I feel so frustrated with myself! Just don't feel like doing anything! All these emotions inside of me is starting to take over me...I thought I hid it and control it well...OK...the truth is I am not...there is something eating me up slowly...why is my life like this? I wish it would change to something easier. Please tell me what to do when you just can't seems to give up but you can't reach it either. I'm stuck. oh...this is so suffocating. I think I really miss you.

Why do I still think of you?

I keep reminding myself not to and keeping myself busy.

The feelings is overwhelming me.

I feel OK but I don't think I am.

Can't lie to myself.

I wish to talk to you so much ...but I know I can't...I need to forget about you...now I know how deep had I fallen for you...I can't help it...no matter how much I like you nothing will ever change...I understand everything...not gonna make anything complicated...I'm not gonna hold back my tears tonight...I will let it flow for the last time and walk far away from you...there will be no presence of me from now...after this semester I won't be seeing you anymore I guess it really puts a full stop to it...now I am only looking forward to going Hong Kong after this semester...it will be nice to leave this place.

Angela Chang (Zhāng Sháo Hán) 张韶涵 - Qíshí Hěn Ài Nǐ 其实很爱你

líkāi bù huì tài bēishāng
离开不会太悲伤
yǒuxiē xīnqíng gāi shìfàng
有些心情该释放
zhídào yǎnlèi tā zìjǐ luòxia
直到眼泪它自己落下
cái fāxiàn piàn bùliǎo zìjǐ
才发现骗不了自己
qíshí hěn ài nǐ
其实很爱你

-----@@-----
xiànzài xué zhe qù yíwàng
现在学着去遗忘
duǒkai yǒu nǐ de dìfāng
躲开有你的地方
huíyì bèi shéi fàng zài shūjià shàng
回忆被谁放在书架上
bǎ tā cóng zuìgāo de dìfāng luòxia
把它从最高的地方落下

-----------------REFF-----
gǎndòng yuèshì shēnkè
感动越是深刻
jìmò jiù yuè shāngrén o
寂寞就越伤人喔
měi gè rén de xīnli
每个人的心里
dōu huì yǒu yī duàn shānghén
都会有一段伤痕

xiàng báizhǐ de tiānzhēn
像白纸的天真
fǎnfù bèi nǐ shāng de hǎoshēn
反复被你伤得好深
xiāng'ài bù xūyào lǐyóu
相爱不需要理由
líkāi yě méiyǒu lǐyóu wǎnliú
离开也没有理由挽留

--------------Repeat @@
Repeat Reff(music)
Repeat Reff

This is kinda how I feel right now...
Should have know love is never right for me...
Cause everytime it just goes bad...
It's alright, it's OK...I'm used to it...
I can live by myself..

I should have known better.

Stupid girl.

Ahhhh...I feel the pain in my heart!

Wanna cry out loud!

I'm so lost with you

This song by Hey Monday kinda describes how I feel:)

Run, Don't Walk.

I am restless and I keep trembling

Everyone watch me as I descend

Into a feeling that's overwhelming me

I've finally stopped, stopped making sense

I can't stop talking to myself

A desperate cry for help

Run, don't walk

The sky is falling through

Don't talk tonight, so confused

I'm lost, I'm lost with you

I don't care where we are

Or where we're heading to

But I know I'm lost

I'm lost with you, with you

My mouth keeps moving

I've lost focus now

Clock keeps ticking, time's running out

Where we're headed there is no heading back

Trip ain't ugly, I'm losing ground

I can't stop talking to myself

A desperate cry for help

Run, don't walk

The sky is falling through

Don't talk tonight, so confused

I'm lost, I'm lost with you

I don't care where we are

Or where we're heading to

But I know I'm lost

I'm lost with you, with you

For the record

When I'm with you

Things are looking better for once

Everything is brighter than the darkness before you

Run, don't walk

The sky is falling through

Don't talk tonight, so confused

I'm lost, I'm lost with you

I don't care where we are

Or where we're heading to

But I know I'm lost

I'm lost with you, with you

* Gotta go sleep soon...going to college for revision with Mun Ee:)

My body feel so warm right now...blame it on the beer...I admit I like you very much and I miss you very much....but what can I do after seeing a picture that makes me feel so unhappy...I think that must be ur gf...I tried to ask you but you never answer me...I guess she is...I'm just so stupid....so so so so stupid....I've should have known better...If I ever was just a game to you, I give up...I pretended that I'm ok..I am not ok....I thought you feel the same way with me...if you are why don't you just tell me it to me...but I guess I misunderstood it...you never...ohh I feel like crying now....gosh it must be the beer making me so confused...damn it....I need to sleep now....Thanks to my friends for cheering me up...and TQ Mun Ee for your time and a Root Beer Float:)

I don't get the answer for my question.

I believe my eyes and my instinct.

It's breaking.

Pretense is what I got.

I'm just hurt.

Now I know I'm not as tough as I thought.

I am fragile as always.

I should just let it go.

I think I don't mean anything to you.

You make cry

You make me laugh

Just woke up from a nap...I'm still feeling tired...

This morning went to LowYat again then I went to walk around and buy clothes...at least it does makes me feel better that moment...then went to Times Square and yum cha with a friend and my bro...damn 3 of us were so emo there....it was filled with so much -ve energy...haha...

today I feel so fed up and have this feeling of it will fades away...

I don't want this feeling to end...

but at the same time I'm thinking why I open up my heart, why I like you, why? Why I put myself in a position that will hurt myself?

Ain't I supposed to be happy to find someone I like?

Why is there a gap seems to be growing between us?

Why are you acting in a way that is so not you?

Why is there tears when I'm writing this?

Why am I crying for you?

It just feels so stupid.

I should have never open up my heart.

I should know better that it will always hurt me.

I should have never like you.

I regained my faith and lose it at the same time.

I can't trust it anymore.

I was sick for 3 days...few days oso no appetite to eat...feeling so weak and tired these few days...sigh...tomorrow still have to wake up early and follow my bro go college...I am thinking how am I gonna spend 2 hours waiting for him...I wanted to ask someone to accompany me for breakfast but I'm afraid of you saying no to me...I was hoping to see you longer today but I'm so useless that I don't even dare to look into your eyes and talk to you, even just a hi...at this moment I'm thinking why did I let my guard down and let u into my heart...all this while I've been protecting myself from getting hurt again but slowly you slipped in and I'm tired of holding in my feelings to you...soon there will be no more classes for me to attend and the chances of seeing you is very mere...this got me thinking of will it be the end of everything? sometimes I can't control myself but to msg you...everytime I did I feel I'm disturbing you or I am really disturbing you...

my dear friends keep asking me to just confess to you...If you know how I feel why don't you do something and let me know...I don't know what are you thinking...after all would it be just one sided feelings...but I can feel it that you have feelings on me...If I'm wrong just tell me.

I'm missing you.

Yes....I miss you...

I don't know what are you thinking but I wish I could and I tried to....



Sometimes you made me feel you know I like you, but sometimes it's just plain ignorance...



I'm holding in alot of emotions right now...



All of these are messing with my head...



You're in my head, I can't even hear myself....



Don't just leave me hanging!

Fallin for you

I don’t know but

I think I maybe

Fallin’ for you

Dropping so quickly

Maybe I should

Keep this to myself

Waiting ’til

I Know you better

I am trying

Not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

And now I found ya

I don’t know where to

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here

And you hold my hand

Pull me towards you

And we start to dance

All around us

I see nobody

Here in silence

It’s just you and me

I’m trying

Not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

and now I found ya

I don’t know where to

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it

My heart is racing

The emotions keep spinning out

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

and now I found ya

I don’t know where to

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t stop thinking about it

I want you all around me

And now I just can’t hide it

I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)

I’m fallin’ for you

OoohhhOh no noOooooohhhOh I’m fallin’ for you

I keep falling for you as I keep reminding myself forget about you...

Love is hard to resist...

I guess I never felt like this before...

How could you not know...

It's sad when I don't get to talk to you...

Am I missing you....

It's alright, it's Ok..

How I wish you would know how I feel...

All I'm doing is just pretend to be chatting with you normally when obviously there is something wrong with me.

You said I'm in love but you never thought it could be you.

It feels so ridiculous to be talking about another guy with you when in fact the other guy whom you thought I like does not exist.

Getting confused? Complicated?

Yes, that's the way I'm feeling whenever I pretend it is someone else when it is you.

Why do I keep staying up late til 3am these days?

Well, it is simple because I wanted to talk to you. But then who else you think I will be chatting with during those hours except for you.

Why do I fall for you?

I don't even know why and I am asking myself everyday.

I don't even know when I fall for you. This is so dumb.

What should I do?

Avoid you? or Continue to pretend it's someone else in front of you?

Ordinary Day

I was looking for you today but you weren't there....

Felt a little disappointment in me:(

Didn't expect much so after class headed to take my car...

While I was driving in the car and waiting in queue to pay parking tickets...

There I saw you going into the college...

I felt an urge to call out to you but I think I would make a fool out of myself for screaming out loud your name from my car....

At last I didn't do so......

Well you just don't see me,don't you?

You never thought it is you when the fact is yes I'm falling for you...

You never thought why would I spend so much time chatting with you if you are not the one I'm falling for....

You never thought of it.

Won't see it coming when it happens, but when it happens, let me tell you now.

Sleeeepppyyy~~~~

Yesterday chat til around 2am then have to wake up around 7 something for yoga class....

Felt so reluctant to go stretch myself but I have to cause I'm FAT!

Hopefully all my hardwork will pay off someday haha when my arms and legs slim down...when is tat day????

Now have to study....fukin bored when I see those notes....

I wonder will i fail if i dun study @_@

~~~~It's funny and stupid at the same time when I'm talking bout you but you thought that it's another guy~~~~~

It's so dysfunctional.

Stupid girl....

I should have known...

The one I wanted him to chat with me didn't do so...

but those I don't want come kacau-kacau (strangers).....

Now I know 'am luen' is not something funny

is suffering....

I rather 'tan luen' than 'am luen'

I thought you 'am luen' me but I guess not.

After knowing you for so long....I don't know why suddenly I started to develop feelings on you...no its not anymore about I falling for good looks...he's just an average looking guy...I think it's I like how he's able to make me laugh and feel happier...maybe it could be just a bunch of sweet talks...I think you never meant the things you said...these few days I dunno what's wrong with as I will take the initiative to msg you...but its not enough to say that I miss you.

I have to stop thinking of these and study for my midterm.

I'm getting sick of it!

You may think its somebody else,

you may be dumb or

you may act you dont know

who I'm talking about.

I still don't feel good.

Guess that I don't like what I saw.

But it got nothing to do with me.

I think I might have like you.

Why do I have to care so much?

Sometimes I can't differentiate what you said

Have I fallen for your jokes or words from your heart?

I can't figure it out.

Today at library computer lab browsing ppl's pics in facebook

Saw a place call Fullhouse..

The restaurant looks very nice and the interior is attractive.

I wanna go la but don't even know where is it

I feel so jakun right now....

Should I drive to Midvalley tomorrow?

Woke up early today and went to Low Yat

After breakfast then went to walk around at Sg.Wang

Didn't get to buy anythin not in the mood yet... went back to Low Yat and sit at my dad's office then help my dad to send things to the shop with brother...so boring...

Then my dad said let's go to Very Very Thai restaurant at Times Square for lunch as Father's Day celebration

But he paid for it hahaa

The tom yum soup is very spicy leh! but very tasty...

I would rate it 4 out of 5.

After lunch, went to walk around at Times Square with my brother

At last bought a top and went back home.

What a boring day.......

Well, while I was finding for my SD card I found photos of me with my ex.

It hurts my eyes to see his face.

It reminds me alot of things.

No, I'm not sad because of him.

I'm just wondering will I ever find love and faith again after the 2 past relationships.

Sometimes I think I had given up on love.

Today had MA2 midterm.

I think the test is still ok not that complicated.

The classroom was so small and overcrowded so we have to change to a 'bigger' classroom.

But it still cannot fit us all. haha.

LoL today had a funny conversation with mun ee.

Until now also I feel like laughing when think of her and '5 fingers hill'

hahaha

Tommorow have to follow my brother to college(guide him in car how to drive).

So lazy la....have to wake up early.

Then don't know I should wait for him until finish class anot.

Follow him go college around 11am then wait until 2pm leh

If wait then what shoud I do there?

Should I find people to go for lunch but find who? -_-"

I think none of my friends have class on Saturday.

*Sigh*

Feel like asking him to 'eat himself' drive by his own.

Today no appetite to eat.

Only had lunch until now.

Bye.

Hmm...

You are not that bad after all.

Guess I should stop dreaming.

There is no white horse.

At least u can put a smile on my face.

Ouchh!

Oucchh!

My toe hurts! The skin is scratched! Not nice already hahaha

All because of a stupid fall....

I was walking happily to my car after my class and all of a sudden I slipped!

Woot~~~I lost control and fell down with a half split pose.........

And now I think my legs muscle is overstretched man!

Hahaa and the best part is my brother is standing next to me laughing at me and staring at me on the floor!

He is not helping!

Luckily it was around 6pm and there were nobody when I fell

Hahaha Thank GOD!!!

IF not I will so damn embarassed....

That's all for today...

Have to go train my character in maple..

I want it to be level 70 and can't wait to change to third job.

Hopefully I will be able to train it to that level.

9 more levels to go!

October Baby

October

Loves to chat

Loves those who loves him

Loves to takes things at the centre

Attractive and suave

Inner and physical beauty

Does not lie or pretend

Sympathetic

Treats friends importantly

Always making friends

Easily hurt but recovers easily

Bad tempered

Selfish

Seldom helps unless asked

Daydreamer

Very opinionated

Does not care of what others think

Emotional

Decisive

Strong clairvoyance

Loves to travel, the arts and literature

Soft-spoken, loving and caring

Romantic

Touchy and easily jealous

Spendthrift and easily influenced

Easily lose confidence

I just don't feel right these days.

This moment I'm feeling down and next I'm feeling good.

Am I insane?

No. I'm not.

I guess I'm having terrible mood swing.

I'm lazy.

I'm sleepy.

I'm irritated.

Sometimes I realise I just got nobody to talk to.

I kind of push everyone away out from my life.

I wonder why I did that but I just don't get it.

It all started from the night I dream of you and it sucks.

No. It's not that I still like you or whatever. I'm positively over you.

I just miss the feeling of it. not you...

It's complicated. I am....

Recently, I have the urge to see you. I just like to see you.

I don't see anymore intention more than that.

I know is impossible. I don't do stuff like that.

Do I like you?

I choose not to answer myself.

I hate FLU!

I'm down with a FLU!

I've been sneezing since this morning..

It's very irritating!!!

At last the assignment for management accounting 2 is done:)

Well, tomorrow I'll have a long break between my classes...

From 11am to 3.30pm...

This is so torturing for every Friday.

I plan to drive back home but I'm afraid I can't drag myself out for the class later on

Haha..well I'm a kaki ponteng...

But at least I will have my brother to rot with me from 1pm ...hehe

4 and a half hour of boredom, imagine that..

Arghh my head is throbbing now!

Hate the damn flu